Thursday, 8 September 2016

Hold me

You cannot seek water
from the one
who drained your seas,
and you cannot build
a home for your worth
inside of another being.
The medicine is when
you return to yourself
where you will remember
your strength,
reclaim your own rhythm,
and write your new song.
It was 1.00 am but I couldn’t fall asleep. Sensing my own uneasiness, something was being hidden from the heart. Just couldn't conquer it and split between reason and emotion. I had little to complain about, except a feeling that life seemed to be passing me by. It would just be a continuation of previous thought.

I just want to love and make people feel loved. Yet, I'm tired to love whenever I never learn how to stop loving.

People have been in this awful self-concept that they can't really acknowledge their own flaws and mistakes. So admitting their own shadow was too much to bear. The pressure coming from all path, yearning for perfection. That bizarre, how can we find the perfection in this imperfect world to be started with. You will end up to be in the end point. Something far worse if you don't find the end point to be your starting to realize how was drown you are, keep turning in the same cycle. I have been there, staring and stood up to the wall, building my own conception which come to be broken and break me down.

It just when my mind started to go blank and I wasn't even sure of my direction I simply move on. For whole time, my pain was ignored just to ensure I could stay strong not be broken yet it totally wrong. The self destruction concept here just mean to numb for a while, lasting just to break you more. Because our  self-concepts are not strong enough to handle the admissions, we can’t take one more drop of contempt. We need a certain degree of space to appreciate ourselves, the feeling more transparent and I would be able to walk over them as It will become a lot of easier to admit my own flaws afterwards.

This writing doesn't take you to anywhere. Nor did I seem to hold against my own flaws that had driven me from inner side. Here, thing are starting to go. People begin to love themselves as they have own value and inspiration. You could identify a cause that you passionately believe in. You could take the step to nourish this heroic, passionate part of you. And to love and spread the togetherness is the part of hope for people as I'm always imagine to be the responsible one to ensure others happiness. Expectation kills, really. It could hit you really hard that you won't be able to stand up when you realize thing doesn't go in that way.

When there has been too much pain, we often forget that we have the built-in capacity to move through it to another state. The Divine gave us tears to be cried, the capacity to express our anger, a vast range of emotional devices that, when healthily unleashed and expressed, can clear the burden out of us, and lead us to lessons of self-love at the heart of them. We love people so much at one point we tired and stop loving. Its not because we hate them but we are too drown in our own perfect imagination that people could perceive as what in our mind. The idea that feeling the pain gives power to those who have hurt us is completely wrong. Feeling the pain is an act of self-empowerment and the only way to make a break from the prison of repressed emotions. Reach inside and unlock the door. In our authentic vulnerability lies our greatest power, the power to re open our hearts after loss and disappointment.

The whole experience felt like the sun of meaning breaking through the clouds of habit in my life. Now when I die, I would like my life to be measured by how much love I expressed through my life.
Focus on contributing and transforming the lives of others, and our own life will light up with meaning, love, and joy. We’ll become a calmer achiever, better able to bear the stresses, difficulties, and setbacks that life often brings.
To run to God is a movement of the heart. To run to God is to strive with everything He has given you. Running to God is movement. If you are passive, you are not moving. You are falling. Movement to God, running to God, is to face your heart towards Him in every motion of life. It is to face every goal, every intention, every End towards Him. He becomes the object of your striving. The means of your striving. The ultimate End of your striving. But you keep striving. - Yasmeen Mogahed

Admitting my own flaws, all I need just to be told that "Its all okay, you will be fine"
 The best time to start living like this was long ago. The next best time to start is now.

0113 | 9/9/16

1 comment: