Hold me

You cannot seek water
from the one
who drained your seas,
and you cannot build
a home for your worth
inside of another being.
The medicine is when
you return to yourself
where you will remember
your strength,
reclaim your own rhythm,
and write your new song.

It was 1.00 am but I couldn’t fall asleep. Sensing my own uneasiness, something was being hidden from the heart. Just couldn't conquer it and split between reason and emotion. I had little to complain about, except a feeling that life seemed to be passing me by. It would just be a continuation of previous thought.

I just want to love and make people feel loved. Yet, I'm tired to love whenever I never learn how to stop loving.

People have been in this awful self-concept that they can't really acknowledge their own flaws and mistakes. So admitting their own shadow was too much to bear. The pressure coming from all path, yearning for perfection. That bizarre, how can we find the perfection in this imperfect world to be started with. You will end up to be in the end point. Something far worse if you don't find the end point to be your starting to realize how was drown you are, keep turning in the same cycle. I have been there, staring and stood up to the wall, building my own conception which come to be broken and break me down.

It just when my mind started to go blank and I wasn't even sure of my direction I simply move on. For whole time, my pain was ignored just to ensure I could stay strong not be broken yet it totally wrong. The self destruction concept here just mean to numb for a while, lasting just to break you more. Because our  self-concepts are not strong enough to handle the admissions, we can’t take one more drop of contempt. We need a certain degree of space to appreciate ourselves, the feeling more transparent and I would be able to walk over them as It will become a lot of easier to admit my own flaws afterwards.

This writing doesn't take you to anywhere. Nor did I seem to hold against my own flaws that had driven me from inner side. Here, thing are starting to go. People begin to love themselves as they have own value and inspiration. You could identify a cause that you passionately believe in. You could take the step to nourish this heroic, passionate part of you. And to love and spread the togetherness is the part of hope for people as I'm always imagine to be the responsible one to ensure others happiness. Expectation kills, really. It could hit you really hard that you won't be able to stand up when you realize thing doesn't go in that way.


When there has been too much pain, we often forget that we have the built-in capacity to move through it to another state. The Divine gave us tears to be cried, the capacity to express our anger, a vast range of emotional devices that, when healthily unleashed and expressed, can clear the burden out of us, and lead us to lessons of self-love at the heart of them. We love people so much at one point we tired and stop loving. Its not because we hate them but we are too drown in our own perfect imagination that people could perceive as what in our mind. The idea that feeling the pain gives power to those who have hurt us is completely wrong. Feeling the pain is an act of self-empowerment and the only way to make a break from the prison of repressed emotions. Reach inside and unlock the door. In our authentic vulnerability lies our greatest power, the power to re open our hearts after loss and disappointment.

The whole experience felt like the sun of meaning breaking through the clouds of habit in my life. Now when I die, I would like my life to be measured by how much love I expressed through my life.
Focus on contributing and transforming the lives of others, and our own life will light up with meaning, love, and joy. We’ll become a calmer achiever, better able to bear the stresses, difficulties, and setbacks that life often brings.

To run to God is a movement of the heart. To run to God is to strive with everything He has given you. Running to God is movement. If you are passive, you are not moving. You are falling. Movement to God, running to God, is to face your heart towards Him in every motion of life. It is to face every goal, every intention, every End towards Him. He becomes the object of your striving. The means of your striving. The ultimate End of your striving. But you keep striving. - Yasmeen Mogahed

Admitting my own flaws, all I need just to be told that "Its all okay, you will be fine"
 The best time to start living like this was long ago. The next best time to start is now.

0113 | 9/9/16
IntrovertPencil

You're loved

I dote upon the value of not walked away from aisle and people just because it becomes uneasy or strained. We cannot only bide in circumstance when we feel good because we may have a crucial lesson to ascertain in the heart of the discomfort. Meanwhile, come to know during my lifetime, there seems to be a tendency for people forgot common sense and hanging on this distressed paths, no matter how tough they are. The idea that all connections or journey convey a seed of renewal feels sick and untrue. There is a significant distinction between difficult situations that are contributing for worthy opening out, and those where the discomfort is a sign to walk away. Sometimes the shadow emerges because we have something to work through. Sometimes it emerges because we are simply not where we belong. Life is so precious, priceless. We are only here for a moment.

You just a music box,

with the lid shut so tight,

just waiting to see who,

was lovely enough,

to hear a something beautiful

just waiting to see who,

cared enough,

to open you up.

There are always many things left us feeling down in the dumps, nonetheless we still didn't realize who take the plunge from the start. That particular figure usually begin from ourselves. Yes, how come people will do something that you never ever did to them ?

Yes, I do have my own theory. My own judgment to be weighed up. I cannot see how people can hate each other? Does our own particular definition of love make us difference? The world need more love.

I loved. I lost. So I learned to love what is never lost.

Then even what I loved that can be lost through what can't be lost, so It was never lost.

Love everyone for whoever they're for the sake of Allah.

My friend once asked,

"Doesn't it hurts when we give something to someone,

then they can't give it back in time we need it?"

Simply said

"It doesn't matter either you want to repay what I'm doing right now or not, 

my theory doesn't enlist such kind of things,

just by accepting what I'm trying to do for you is enough.

Just accept my struggle is enough.

Always have an optimistic perspective in this life, always search on the brighter side of the circumstance. Always find what is good in them, always try to look up for the blessings within it and do not let the heart fall into depression, for, once you let depression knock on your door and you open it, it will invites the other negative feelings to come along with it, and slowly blackens the purity that in your heart. Forgive people as seeking forgiveness from Allah. Possess a heart that desires and sees what is good, rectify your soul with the mind that believes that everything that happens in this world is from our Al Mighty Lord, and nothing that is from Him will not benefit and bless you. InsyaAllah, everything will be okay.

Learn to appreciate what you have and what He has blessed you with. Open your heart to it, let Allah speaks to your soul.

1218 | 18 Feb
IntrovertPencil

For His sake

Friends are but gifts from the All Loving Allah, they are people that both strengthen and teach us that in life, people come and go, but what matters is how you have compelled and made their stay in your life worthy to be remembered and cherished, it’s not the number of days you’ve had them in your life or the time you’ve spent with them, it’s the actually the deep quality of relationship that you had with them that speaks out.

We should be ever mindful of choosing people who would be our companions in this dunya, we should be careful on choosing our friends for the people we choose to hang out with defines and talks so much of what a person we are.

It is know that those who love one another for the sake of Allah will be among those whom Allah will shelter with His shade and upon whom He will shower His mercy and kindness. 

Muhammad ﷺ once said the following;

[1] “Allah will ask on the Day of Judgment: ‘Where are those who loved each other for the sake of My glory? Today, - on a day when there is no shade but mine – I shall shade them with My shade.”

[2] “Allah said: ‘Those who love one another for My glory, will have minbars of light, and the Prophets and martyrs will wish that they had the same.”

Indeed, through this kind of love lies not only a great status but the honor of being able to please Allah, and what greater reward for a Mu'min is there other than being able to please His Rabb?

Muhammad ﷺ said;

“A man went to visit a brother of his in another village. Allah sent an angel to wait for him on the road. When the man came along, the angel asked him, 'Where do you intend to go?’ He said, 'I am going to visit a brother of mine who lives in this village.’ The angel asked, 'Have you done him any favour (for which you are now seeking repayment)?’ He said, 'No. I just love him for the sake of Allah’. The angel told him, I am a messenger to you from Allah, sent to tell you that He loves you as you love your brother for His sake.” (Muslim)

Truly, we grow as others grow, and we struggle as others struggles, so don’t think you’re the only one who strives, many does, and all of you blossom at the end, and it best that you find these kind of people, because with them you learn to be more patient, to be more mindful of your deeds, more eager to please Allah and will always be reminded to fear Allah at all times.
Choose wisely for Allah says; 

“Close friends on that Day will be foes to one another – except for the righteous.” 43:67

So learn to love someone for the sake of Allah, find him and let one another blossom, encourage one another to enjoin what is good and forbid what is evil for indeed loving each other for the sake of Allah brings out the most beautiful patience & faith that can conceal the scars of the most painful and hardest tests. :’)

For truly, a person who loves you genuinely for the sake of Allah, cares and thinks for your akhirah. So before you look for that person, why not strive hard to be that person? insyaAllah.
_____

and we pray that we become among those people who love one another for the sake of Allah, that we find in our hearts the light of appreciating even the minutest things that a friend does for us, and that we may control our nafs and pride when at times that they advice us that we had done wrong, we find the heart to listen and hear what they need to tell us. insyaAllah.

May Allah guide us to people that will help us become better Muslims, to people that will be just and always remind us to fear Allah and encourage us to do good deeds. Amin. 

- SOTS

Hye, It's 26th June. Happy Birthday :)